The thing inside my heart, called 'The Self Esteem' was cracking, really hard.
I'm a typical person who is interested in some unusual things, which are, maybe, rather different from other people. Or we can say, other women. I like to play games, especially RPG. I like to scroll the pictures of strange creatures living in the deep sea from @snapfish on Instagram (so don't ask me about any beauty blogger out there cause I really have no clue). I like to read some conspiracy theories. I like to read horror stories (even though It will be super difficult for me to sleep every night after I read horror stories). I like to read and watch any book or movie related to the universe or space or what's inside our Earth or about ancient history. When I was a kid, I can stay and watch the movie about crop circle and alien in Youtube for hours. Or a movie about the ancient relics that show us the sculpture of an astronaut so I said "That's the prove that the time machine does exists!". And I like to do some absurd things, cause.. simply that's me.
Yeah, not that typical sweet and feminine girls. And I didn't care cause I have my own identity. Until something happened..
There WAS one of my significant others (but not anymore) that said that I'm such a freak by seeing my absurd thing I usually do, which are mimicking Saman dancer and singing a song he doesn't know. And, that's just a little part of my unusual things I usually do, you know. I never imagine what will he say if I show all of my weird sides. Maybe he will judge and entitle me as "the weirdest freak in the world". I don't know whether this significant other was joking or not but to be honest, deep, really deep down inside my heart, the thing called 'The Self Esteem' was cracking, really hard.
And from that moment, unintentionally I was beginning to be someone else. But at the end, it's just tiring, and I realized, what so wrong with having an interest to some things that are not mainstream, I do no harm to anyone, right? And it will be so much fun when we have a conversation because we have plenty topics to be discussed, right?
So I tried to be not so hard on myself. I'm being who I am. And if this significant other really can't stand me, then maybe we're not fit each other. There's nothing wrong with that.
Yeah, not that typical sweet and feminine girls. And I didn't care cause I have my own identity. Until something happened..
There WAS one of my significant others (but not anymore) that said that I'm such a freak by seeing my absurd thing I usually do, which are mimicking Saman dancer and singing a song he doesn't know. And, that's just a little part of my unusual things I usually do, you know. I never imagine what will he say if I show all of my weird sides. Maybe he will judge and entitle me as "the weirdest freak in the world". I don't know whether this significant other was joking or not but to be honest, deep, really deep down inside my heart, the thing called 'The Self Esteem' was cracking, really hard.
And from that moment, unintentionally I was beginning to be someone else. But at the end, it's just tiring, and I realized, what so wrong with having an interest to some things that are not mainstream, I do no harm to anyone, right? And it will be so much fun when we have a conversation because we have plenty topics to be discussed, right?
So I tried to be not so hard on myself. I'm being who I am. And if this significant other really can't stand me, then maybe we're not fit each other. There's nothing wrong with that.
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